Your Intentions at the Threshold of a New Beginning…
~ What is calling you to make this journey?
A desire to dive into the love of this web of women.
~ Where are you in your life? Are you at the beginning or end of something or in transition?
I am bleeding every couple of weeks. I am not sure where that is. I am about to graduate a masters and embark on a phd. As well as about to start a therapy practice.
~ Is there anything you wish to mark or celebrate?
The above.
~ What do you dream for yourself and your community of humans and non humans?
To hold Sanctuary space in greater and wider realms. To finish my books.
A week or so ago, I went to my house — the first time since the LA fires more than a month ago. I unlocked my side door and took a few steps inside. I was in a hazmat suit, with a particulate mask that the Red Cross had provided me at the park down my street. In my car was a case of bottled water because the water in our neighborhood is toxic. There is a surreal quality entering your home after so much time. Never more so than when I turned to my left and glimpsed our fully decorated Christmas tree. The tree was dry and crisp, but the bulbs still sparkled. Could there have been so much joy such a short time ago? The adjacent wall clock was silent, motionless — its pendulum still. As if time had paused… like in Mary Oliver’s “Such Silence” where “it’s hard to suppose the usual rules applied.” Oh Mary, how
did you know? Nothing feels right, or normal, and the rules are completely unknown. Or so it seems….the transition I am in right now. As one of last year’s Rooters & Risers, I was fortunate to learn how valuable a collective can be. For support, for guidance, to figure myself out when I feel most overwhelmed. I would like to continue the inner work started last year, and that is why I have joined Moon Cycles. I’d also like to sit and deeply listen to others who are figuring things out as well. There’s a power in the collective stories, and I learn a great deal from my fellow-travelers!
Last year, I performed an intimate ceremony (thank you Yamin!), writing my deceased father a letter saying goodbye, and tossing the letter inside a bottle into the Norwegian Sea. We were on vacation as a family and I felt he belonged there, in those frigid yet untouched waters. I realized later that the thrown bottle also exposed my life-long need for acceptance from my nuclear family (my mother and brother). Even if I have loosened those expectations, I struggle still with knowing who I am. Without someone outside telling me (or not), trying to battle my low self-esteem from within is difficult for me. That then, is the work before me. Another transition. My husband and I, besides battling the fires, are also becoming accustomed to stepping back from our soon-to-be 23-year old twins. Both have significant others and I often feel that what they want from us is connection, rarely advice. So, I start this year marking that transition also,
which will only grow in the years ahead. Instead of closing, our world has opened up — my son Josh traveled to Hong Kong to visit his girlfriend Valerie this past Christmas. He came back ecstatic, sharing photos and adventures, and introducting this new family to us. Who would have known?
As an earth element, I dream of a world where humans and non-humans can mutually respect each other, where we can co-exist. A world where Pachamama is welcome at the table. And, where my beautiful trails grow lush and are protected from future fires. I yearn to learn the medicine wheel, and I want to read and write prose or poetry with Rory and have that world be the one I see outside my window. If only we pause, if only we learn, if only we care enough.
Most of all, I want to “be saved by the beauty of the world.” Thank you, dear Mary, I am listening.
Dear Fellow Travelers,
Experiencing Rooting and Rising through our last spin around the Sun, immersed in the lessons of each season, aided by the five spirits/elements, enabled me to unearth, embrace and heal countless wounds, transforming old habits that no longer serve me.
Storytelling came storming back into my adult life, providing rich, vivid and essential tools for more discovery. Rooting & Rising provided open space for me to “write with abandon” … illuminating journeys more vast than I could ever imagine wandering and roaming through. My transfigurative dive into the unique lineage and complex web of my Artukovich and Croatian ancestors,(along with the lands they lived on), provided a clear eyed view of decades of constricted abuse, hatred, violence (both to humans and the earth – such as the construction of the California Aqueduct by my father/grandfather). My inherited ancestral legacies need not solely define me, nor be rejected, for they became a catalyst for my own expansion – beyond horizons I may not be able to ever name. I now can celebrate my lineage, my wisdom, my artistic abilities… all of it, appreciating how it brings me to this moment.
Where am I now? In a very practical time of transition, which has a defined plan in progress. 43 years of developing corporate industrial land and facilities in Los Angeles has fine-honed extraordinary skills I fully possess, now to be utilized for a different purpose. I expect to be through this transitory period from my corporate world into the magical last third of my human life within two years or less…with an intention to utilize my multitude of gifts in service to others, to the land, and beyond.
Which brings me to my intent for this new cycle.
Creating my own legacy.
… as Hamilton wrote:
Legacy: planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.
What will I contribute?
What will I pass on?
What will I leave behind?
…to others, to loved ones, to the world, and beyond.
May our journey begin filled with curiosity emanating from hearts of radiating diamonds
Dear Circle,
I am called to this journey by a deep desire for self-love—to truly learn about myself in away where I am allowed to just be, where I feel comfortable in my own skin, and where I can embrace my healing fully. One of the most tangible ways I seek this transformation is by ending my relationship with cigarettes. I want to quit smoking—not just to break the habit, but to honor the process, to acknowledge what it has meant for me, and to consciously let it
go as an act of love for myself. In my life right now, I am at the beginning of love—not only for myself but also for someone new. He is twelve years older than me, and while I know there may be judgments from those around me, I recognize that my path is my own. This journey is about standing in my truth, about celebrating my freedom—the freedom to choose love, to set boundaries, and to stand up for myself in ways I wasn’t always able to in the past.
I wish to mark this time as a turning point, as an affirmation of my strength and my ability to create the life I dream of. I dream of loving life freely and fully, without hesitation or fear. I dream of building a stable financial future, of creating a foundation where I can finally buy my dream home—a home here in San Diego, where I feel rooted and at peace. Most of all, I dream of living in alignment with who I am becoming, embracing every part of myself with kindness, courage, and love. I step into this circle ready to listen, to share, and to honor the journey ahead.
With gratitude,
I am called to make this journey because for the past years I have been in search to better understand myself, my purpose and what brings me joy and peace. I just turned 44 years old and am transitioning into perimenopause. I have been noticing the changes in my body specifically within the last 6 months, during which time, my menstrual cycle has become erratic for the first time in my life. This has created a lot of confusion in my routine and monthly cycles, along with observing that I have less energy and sometimes less motivation.
Within these last 6 months I have also transitioned from being a full-time employee to a freelance consultant in my career, therefore I have been experiencing many changes. Having a group that can support and uplift me during this time will be very valuable.
I would like to celebrate my strength and resilience as I continue to work through the past years filled with grief (from my mother’s passing and infertility), while taking care of my health and wellbeing. I dream of the upcoming years being centered in me finding my joy, passions, curiosity, and peace, while sharing more moments of awe in community with like-minded humans. I also dream of building stronger communities through dialogue, creative expression and art.
Thank you for your time and I look forward to meeting everyone next week.
I’m sixty years old. I’m called to this journey to help prepare me for the next chapters in my life. I’ll be returning from work within the next 5-8 years if I don’t get “retired” by layoffs.
I’m the mother of two grown daughters who live on the east coast. One daughter is engaged with no wedding plans and the other is living with her boyfriend but has no plans to marry or have children at this time.
I’m the daughter of two elderly parents who are starting to need more care and attention.
I’m divorced (separated over 10 years ago, divorce final almost 9 years ago). I have a loving live in boyfriend whom I adore with no plans to marry. As I went through the separation and divorce, I did a lot of work on myself both emotionally and spiritually. As I healed my relationship with myself and remembered who I am, my self work dropped off.
I want to refocus on myself as I prepare to retire and for life without my parents.
I want to explore being more in tune with myself, nature, and my relationships with others.
Looking forward to the course even though I have another commitment for 3/22 and I’ll miss the first get together.
The story you spoke of from Rumi resonated very deeply. My intention for this year of rooting & rising is to slow down with myself, to find a deeper physical embodiment, to be with the emergent in myself and community, to turn the volume up on my heart- so that I may hear its whisperings as loud as a roar, to be more attuned to and honoring of the seasons, to get clear on what season I am in now, to find what lights me up, to allow for more joy, to step more fully into the accomplished author of my life, and to laugh/have fun. With love & gratitude
My reason for joining this circle is to build the type of strength in my self that I know can emerge from the power of a group with shared intention. I am letting go of strong patterns/old ways of being that no longer align with my path moving forward, understanding that accountability can help you overcome what feels impossible alone.
For decades I’ve worn on my sleeve a sense of brokenness, as if acting out how I felt inside meant living authenticity. I identified strongly as a victim and traumatized person, often using this as an excuse for the things I did and did not do. Oblivion became the primary desired state of being and I’ve hidden many of my talents for years as a result of the guilt and shame accompany this habit. Not setting myself up for success at its best and self sabotage at its worst, I’d like to wish this former version of myself goodbye with love and reverence.
With the witnesses of this community, I desire to make space for a more accurate activation of myself to emerge. A woman who is kind, confident, capable, reliable, skilled, dedicated, helpful, present, nourishing, and bright. I want to confidently show up and allow myself to be seen. I’d like for the work I have done to heal to be apparent in how I navigate the spaces I enter and believe the support of other women will be paramount in birthing this updated iteration of existence.
I dream that we as a collective will listen to and reconnect with the wisdom of truth which can be found in nature, sound, color, movement, stillness, spiritual principles, and deep inner knowing. I’d like my dance with assets such as honesty, hope, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, perserverence, and service to be reflected in my daily pursuits, shape my path, and uplift those I encounter along the way. Alchemizing the elements of experience I’ve encountered to date, may my work, relationships, home, routine, and roles within my communities demonstrate an ability to overcome challenges with grace.
I’d like to offer hope to and hold space for others, which is why this intimate group feels like a divine place to safely keep practicing.
As always, my continuing intention is to be present and notice. Noticing leads to revelations for me, so it begins here. It is vital. What would I be especially interested in noticing? The ways I can get pulled away from my center. The situations that tend to up uproot my roots.
In my Rooting & Rising journey, I spoke often about leaving my worries, my treadmill mind behind, taking them to the rivers edge…setting them beside the trees trunk. I am getting better at noticing when my mind gets too caught up. Look at the word I used here. Caught…like prey or being trapped. Yes, a sticky mind state. My work in architecture and building is full of challenges and problems needing solutions. Life is filled with the same, some very challenging at this time in our world.
I want to explore how to remain centered, upright, tethered and calm in the midst of challenges. I don’t mean I don’t want to care about the issues. I just want to set down the hyper-vigilance, and not become captured by situations. Avoid the stickiness. I want to become my own best healer on all levels. I want to notice, appreciate and curate the wise center.
Thank you in advance for what I know will be an amazing journey!
Moon Cycles Intentions
The call was simple – the invitation felt like being invited to dinner with a collection of utterly wonderful people by a friend who is the best cook in the world at the peak of harvest season. What right-minded human would say no to that? Perhaps that was just the initial impulse, the desire. When I gave it space to feel into the presence of a deeper calling, there was the ever-present calling to be in circle and in ceremony, and the ever-present calling to be in community, and the ever-present calling to be in deep presence with natural time – with the cycles within and without. That was more than enough to say yes.
Beyond that, though… my knowledge of the wisdom of my cycle is actually very similar to my knowledge of the wisdom of the moon. Perhaps it’s developed in perfect parallel (just realizing that now). There have been some moments of devoted learning and listening, and some stretches of paying deeper attention, but there has never been a truly devoted length of time to prioritize this awareness. The learning and relating has mostly seeped in through the cracks in otherwise unattended time. Through the peripheral vision of my attention. If I think about it really hard I can roughly tell time by the phase of the moon and its position in the sky. And similarly, I can tell the tide, or in reverse I can tell the phase of the moon if I’m along the shore and can observe the tide and the time. But this is purely intellectual knowledge, and accessing it requires deep thinking, forehead scrunching and looking into that habitual upper right visual corner of calculation. My knowing of my cycle and its rhythms and its wisdom is similar – there’s a lot of thinking involved. It’s not as much embodied awareness, and I both long for that kind of embodied knowing. And I can very clearly perceive the presence of much potent knowing within my body, should I create the space – and/or be so graciously offered the space within community with utmost perfect timing—to be with it, to listen deeply, feel fully, come into presence with whatever is there both with and beyond words.
I have been menstruating for 26 years…It feels like it’s more than about time. I feel awareness of the end of this particular cycle not so very far into the future. This brings not so much urgency but perhaps it’s gravity. But not so serious. It’s artful, playful, creative gravity…
And lastly and quite importantly – I live with another cycle in my life which is a fluid and ongoing dance of receiving and giving and receiving and giving when it comes to learning, personal/collective growth and development, ceremony, and holding space in general. I am aware of being at a threshold of stepping into a period of devoted offering, and I have felt pretty clearly a need, before crossing through, to receive the gift of being a part of a circle held and facilitated by not me, and to receive the potent transmission of how-to-hold-space-in-circle, once again, in a new form, in a new time (the always-new Now). I experience that transmission as being always coming perhaps half from the wisdom of the facilitators, and half from the essence of circle/council/ceremony itself. I am deeply deeply grateful for both gifts and givers.
My dream for each and all of us is to have a beautifully synergistic container through which to deepen, individually and together, into the rhythms of natural time, and to be and feel held and filled up with that essential loving constant flow. May it radiate outward and bring greater ease, peace, flow, creativity, joy, and play for all humans in this moment within the larger cycles of time.
Rooting and Rising 